Naptime Basics (Part One)
BWS - 07
The gentle rhythm of sleep is one of the most precious gifts you can offer your baby, and it begins to shape their life from the very first days. Sleep isn’t just about rest; it nurtures growth, soothes the little one’s mind, and helps them find a sense of calm in this new world. As a mother, you will quickly learn that those frequent newborn naps are opportunities not only for your baby to recharge but also for you to guide them toward the rhythms of sleep that will carry them through their first year and beyond.
In those early days, when your baby naps throughout the day, you’ll have the chance to gently introduce the concept of scheduled sleep. But experienced mothers know that these sweet naps can often be interrupted by all forms of unexpected and usually unpredictable variables like hunger, discomfort, or simply the wonder of discovering a new day.
Here lies a quiet paradox. You may find that helping your baby sleep eight hours through the night can come more easily than protecting the precious tranquility of a two-hour daytime nap. While the night’s longer rest is shaped by deep, bio-neurologic connections that allow your baby to settle into sleep, daytime naps face a host of small but potent disruptions. These little disturbances, like soft breezes that stir a calm sea, can make maintaining a smooth naptime routine challenging.
In the next few posts, we will explore the many factors that influence naptime, from your baby’s growing awareness of the world to the subtleties of their daily needs. But first, let’s talk about expectations, what can you, as a mother, anticipate during those naptimes, especially if you’re following a PDF (Parent-Directed Feeding) approach?
Sleep and Nap Summary
During the first four weeks, you may not yet actively begin sleep training, but you will be laying a gentle foundation by establishing a rhythm of feeding, waking, and sleeping. This is a passive way of guiding your baby toward healthy sleep habits, and it will set the stage for the weeks and months to come.
As the months unfold, you will see the ebb and flow of nap and wake times change, but understanding these patterns can help you confidently navigate this journey. Below, you’ll find a summary of what to expect during that precious first year, when each nap becomes an opportunity to rest and grow, both for your baby and for you as a mother discovering the quiet beauty of these shared moments.
In these times, remember that every nap is a step toward your child’s future, and in guiding them, you are also embracing the tender act of nurturing their heart and mind. The chart below is a general sleep guide for the first year. Like most of our guidelines, the averages are based exclusively on the Babywise infant population.
Weeks Time Spent in Sleep Number of Naps
1 - 2 17-19 hours, including 5-6 naps per day
3 - 5 16-18 hours, including 5-6 naps per day
6 - 7 15-18 hours, including 4-6 naps per day
8 - 12 14-17 hours, including 4-5 naps per day
13 - 15 13-17 hours, including 3-4 naps per day
16 - 24 13-16 hours, including 3-4 naps per day
25 - 38 13-15 hours, including 2-3 naps per day
39 - 52 12-15 hours, including 2 naps per day
Naps and Crying
Here’s what you can hold close to your heart: under normal circumstances, a few minutes of crying, 10, 15, or even 20, has limited, if any, adverse side effects compared to the offset benefits derived from healthy sleep patterns. It won’t diminish the countless moments of tenderness you’ve shared, the smiles, the snuggles, the gentle whispers that fill their world with love. Those moments are the foundation of your baby’s security and are far more substantial than a short period of fussing. A bit of crying doesn’t erase that; it doesn’t mean you’ve failed to protect your child’s happiness or well-being.
In fact, constantly preventing all crying, though well-meaning, can lead to more frustration, for both you and your baby. Babies need the space to express themselves, and sometimes that comes in the form of crying. It’s part of their journey to learn how to soothe themselves and how to find comfort within. This is especially true during naptime when the world quiets and your baby is learning the rhythms of rest. When they are truly tired, the crying often doesn’t last long, though it may feel like an eternity to you in the moment.
It’s so hard, I know, to hear those cries. It’s even harder to make the choice to allow them when your every instinct is to step in. But having the right perspective can help soften those moments. You are not letting your baby cry for no reason. You are guiding them towards something essential, healthy sleep habits that will serve them for a lifetime. These tears, in the context of sleep training, are not meaningless. They are part of a process that will help your baby learn to rest well, find comfort in sleep, and wake up with energy, joy, and cognitive alertness.
Think of these small crying moments as tiny steps toward something more significant. A well-rested baby is a happy baby who can greet the day with bright eyes, a smile, and a readiness to explore the world. They will learn to fall asleep peacefully and wake up content, and that is a gift for you both. It’s a small trade, a few tears now for the larger joy of a child who can sleep soundly and rise with happiness.
So, take heart, dear mother. In these moments, you are not just hearing cries, you are helping your baby grow, teaching them resilience, and offering them the lifelong gift of restful, peaceful sleep. And that, in itself, is an act of love.
The Fatigued Baby
The signs of infant fatigue are subtle yet distinct, different from the gentle tiredness that a baby can recover from with a good nap or a night’s sleep. Fatigue is more complex and can disrupt your baby’s natural sleep cycles, calling for extra care and tenderness. As a mother, it’s easy to feel the weight of this challenge. You might try to keep your baby awake, hoping they’ll tire themselves into sleep, or perhaps feel helpless as your attempts to soothe seem to only add to the distress. But know this: fatigue isn’t something to be brushed aside. It’s a delicate sleep challenge that requires gentle attention.
There are two things every mother hopes for a baby who sleeps peacefully through naps and one who rests in the comfort of their crib. Yet, when signs of fatigue emerge, sometimes we must set aside those hopes temporarily, putting our baby’s deeper needs first.
Fatigue in your baby is not unlike what we, as adults, feel when exhaustion overtakes us to the point where even sleep becomes elusive. It interrupts their natural rhythm, pulling them from the restful flow between active and relaxed sleep. Often, it results from disruptions to their routine, especially when nap times have been irregular over a few days. In moments like these, your focus turns to the heart of the issue, helping your baby return to their natural sleep-wake cycle with as little stress as possible.
If you sense your little one is caught in this pattern of fatigue, the first step is to create a calm, comforting space where sleep can come easily. This may mean letting go of rigid expectations for a short while. You could settle into a cozy chair, cradle your baby in your arms, and let them nap there for a day or two. Let their sleep come naturally in the warmth and comfort of your embrace. By the third day, you can begin gently transitioning them back to their crib for naps. This small shift helps restore your baby’s sleep without creating a long-term habit, it’s simply a pause in routine, a moment of nurture when it’s needed most.
As with so much in motherhood, prevention is critical. Think back to how your baby’s once peaceful sleep was disrupted. It likely wasn’t a day of missed naps that led to fatigue but a few days of disruptions that added up. Now is the time to reflect on your baby’s routine, their environment, and the little changes that may have contributed to this. With a few adjustments, you can help them return to more restful days and peaceful nights.
In the next post, we’ll explore the challenge of early waking. After working so hard to establish a steady feed-wake-sleep routine for your three-month-old, you might find that suddenly; they begin waking after only 30 or 45 minutes of napping, with no sign of settling back down. Who is this 45-minute intruder? What could cause such a change? How long will its shadow linger? And, more importantly, what can you do to help your baby return to their usual nap routine? Turn the page, and we’ll walk through this next stage together.